Hank Green  is so HOT!!!

I just can’t get this out of my head! 

The top 10 “Its Too Hot” lyrics that I can’t stop singing to myself:

10.  “I’m gonna fall out of my chair if i have another ice cold beer.”
9.    “I don’t want to drink your iced tea, i want to take a bath in it instead.”
8.    “Sprayin myself with an upside down air can”
7.    “There’s sweat trickling down my thighs, and a fire between the mattress and my butt.”
6.    “Silk boxer shorts and a washcloth are the only things i’ll let touch my skin today.”
5.    “The united nations says 11,000 people die of hotness each year.”
4.    “Hopin the mailman doesn’t look in today.”
3.    “I’m an endothermic organism and thats why I perspire.”
2.    “Its too hot, and I’m doin a funny dance, cause I went and got some ice cubes and put them down my pants…
1.    “Making love with that window fan.”

Its Too Hot by Hank Green, Brotherhood 2.0

My eyes snap open its 2 o’ clock
I rip of my shirt my pants my socks
Somethings wrong but i don’t know what

But then i finally realize
There’s sweat trickling down my thighs
and a fire between the mattress and my butt

Its too hot, its too hot in here
I’m gonna fall out of my chair
If Ii have another ice cold beer
I forgot how much it sucks to sweat in bed
I don’t want to drink your iced tea
I want to take a bath in it instead
Its too hot

Layin on the floor with my clothes off
Silk boxer shorts and a washcloth
Are the only things i’ll let touch my skin today
Sprayin myself with an upside down air can
Making out with the window fan
Hopin the mailman doesn’t look in today

Its too hot
Its too hot in this town
My will to live is melting
And thats whats got me down

Its too hot, and my state is on fire
I’m an endothermic organism and thats why i perspire
When its to hot

The united nations says 11,000 people die of hotness each year
But the burning sun, it wants 11,001
But its not going to get me you hear
No its not going to get me.

Sitting in my basement all alone
Watching hotness prevails by the WineKone
Sympathizing with my favorite UTube star

How could anyone be so deranged
To not believe in climate change
When its 102 in montana in the dark

Its too hot and I’m doin a funny dance
Cause I went and got some ice cubes and put them down my pants

I’m probably gonna pass out
But please pass my beer
Its too hot.
Spraying myself with an upside down air can
Makin love with that window fan.

In a recent effort to reduce sibling blood-shed, whining, and tears, I have instructed all 3 sisters to immediately seek mediation if they are unable to solve their differences in a peaceful manner.  (This is a change from previous laissez-faire – work it out amongst yourselves  policy.)

Thing-Three came up to me and whispered, “Thing-Two slapped me with a banana peel.”

I usually hear opposing testimony, but since I was tired, I simply told Thing-Two “Tell your sister you are sorry for hitting her with a banana peel.”  When Thing-Two was 3 years old, she sat in time-out for an hour, rather than say she was sorry.  Her response then: “I not.”  Her personal code of honor does not allow for insincere apologies.

Thing-Two: “All I said was, ‘could you please pick up my banana peel, and she stomped and hit the floor.  So I picked up the banana peel and slapped her with it.”

I reminded her that slapping someone with a banana peel would fall under the general house rules of “No hitting, pinching, biting, scratching, pushing, spitting, etc.”  I told them that if I needed to get more specific, I could add “no banana slapping.” At that, Thing-Two and Thing-Three burst into giggles.  Still no apology, but peace was restored.

Its a Minnesota thing, afflicting many (but by no means all)  Minnesotans.  I have yet to  meet a transplant to Minnesota who approaches the Fair as much zeal.  For me, a good deal of the attraction lies in childhood memories of going to the Fair with my family.  Climbing on tractors, checking out all of the animals, all-you-can-drink milk, seed art, watching the Princesses Kay of the Milky Way in the freezer while a sculptor carves their likeness from a huge block of butter.  Good times. 

“He got nik, he got nak, he got noke.  He all a mess.”

I don’t remember the plot details, but this is a line from my middle daughter’s first narrative story (she’s 10 now.)  I think the nik, nak, noke came from the song “Knick Knack Paddywack”.  When I asked her what nik nak noke meant, she didn’t really know, it was just something bad.  So “nik nak noke” has become part of our family’s lexicon.  For example, if I call my mom to complain about the bad day I’m having, her response may be:  “You got nik, you got nak, you got noke. You’re all a mess.”